There are many things about parenting an autistic child that differ from neurotypical parenting, and some of those things we have touched on in this blog. Yet nothing can be more starkly different than traveling with an autistic child vs traveling with a neurotypical child, particularly as it pertains to traveling for a holiday.
Though Mowgli has always had very few issues with the actual car ride (we've never flown on a plane, the mere thought of which makes me "listening to Jim Croce while drinking" suicidal), we do like to provide him with some form of back seat entertainment, and to make frequent stops to get out and walk. Though this sometimes results in minor meltdowns, or the occasional "perseveration nation" (the non-stop repetition of a single phrase or word - ie Go see Unca Chuee - a combo of Charlie and Suee - approximately 165,000 times) it, for the most part, works out. The exception to this was the last bit of the trip to the Outer Banks along NC Highway 12, or as I call it, the Trail of Tears (anyone who has traveled to the OBX knows this last stretch of road well - though most travelers don't make it to the end, they get out of their cars and drown themselves in the ocean, as it is preferable to driving that route to its terminus).
The most recent car trip we took was extra special thanks to the addition of Grandpa and Grandma's most recent birthday gift - portable DVD players.
Here's a shot of Mowgli's reaction:
I tried to capture those moments photographically so that I could string them all together. I wanted to do it not just for the purposes of this blog, but to show you what I mean by the beautiful little moments of hope. These pictures are all wonderful little memories - tiny warm fuzzies that live inside a loving parent's heart.
The difference is that these little moments are sandwiched between epic meltdowns, self-injury, perseveration, an obsession with turning the lights on at 4:30 in the morning, angry travel constipation (a Mowgli guarantee on any trip), sensory overload, confusion over new surroundings or a different schedule, and perhaps even, if you're lucky, a drowning scare.
On the second to last day of our most recent trip, Mowgli didn't want to use the pool in the morning, because of his constipation. I took his sister instead, which meant that I had to go in with her. After she was done, Mowgli felt better and wanted to use the pool. By then I had already gotten dressed so I decided that I would take him down there in my regular clothes (the first time I've ever gone without a swimsuit). When it was time to get out, Mowgli decided he would go to the deep end of the pool and float in the center, where I couldn't reach him (there is some debate as to whether or not this move was intentional). He stayed there, despite my protests, until he couldn't hold himself up any more. He sank like a rock, I stripped down to my boxers, and then dived in to get him. He gagged for a little while but had no other ill effects. In fact, he laughed hysterically as I screamed at him in front of the entire hotel lobby/brunch crowd (not comprehending fully the danger he had faced, or the reason for my anger, and focusing instead on the hilarity of his old man, soaking wet in his underwear, with a washcloth held in front of his crotch (the only towel they had left by the pool), screaming like a wild monkey, while everyone participating in the Red Cross Blood Drive in the lobby looked on in an odd combination of disgust and confusion.
Having sworn off future vacations for the third time that weekend, we ended up staying until the end anyway, choosing to leave after he swam one last time on the last day. Since that occurred at 5:30 am we were out of there pretty early.
Again, I don't want people to think that I don't see how holiday travel is stressful for all parents, I just hope that other people can see the difference between the two, and as always, understand that we aren't trying to avoid our friends and family on the holidays, we just need to be in the right frame of mind to make that trip, because the next trip we take might very well have a lot of those beautiful moments, but it might also have none, and we need to be prepared for the latter, something that quite frankly isn't easy to prepare for.
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