Ten things to know about autism and our family:

1. Just because my son has autism, doesn't mean he doesn't have his own personality. Not all people with autism are alike because, not all people are alike.

2. Raising a child with autism is harder than raising a "neurotypical" child. It just is. If I tell you my son/I'm having a bad day, I'm not being melodramatic, trying to seek attention, or make you feel bad. I'm just telling you about my life, with all of its ups and downs.

3. It's hard for my family to attend gatherings or events. For reasons unexpressed, sometimes my son just doesn't want to go. Other times, we don't want to go because we are so tired. My son is very active, and walking, hiking, swimming, etc. for 2-3 hours at a time is exhausting. My husband or I have walked away from events, realizing we barely said "Hi" to anyone, because my son has been continuously on the move.

4. Just because I wish my son didn't have autism, doesn't mean I wish I never had my son. Honestly, if I could do it over again, I wouldn't change a thing. He is a gift from God, and I feel truly blessed to be his parent.

5. We might not always say it, but we appreciate the understanding, supportive, caring people in our lives. We appreciate the invites, calls, emails, and positive comments from family and friends. Our son's autism has introduced us to some amazing people, and it has brought the best of certain people that we've known our whole lives!

6. Our son's autism has made our marriage stronger. We work as a team, to help our son, his sister, and each other in life. Having a child with autism doesn't guarantee a divorce.

7. My son doesn't always show it, but he hears the conversations around him. He might not fully comprehend, but what you say around him will affect how he interacts with you.

8. My son doesn't understand the subtleties of body language, facial expression, or tone of voice. He does not yet know how to manipulate or be passive-aggressive. This allows him to express himself in a very pure way. This causes epic tantrums, but also very beautiful moments of affection. To be hugged by him is to feel love.

9. My son works predominantly on instinct. Therefore, he does what feels good and avoids what feels bad (hence the title of this blog). Sometimes this creates uncomfortable circumstances for others. Though autistic, and only 5 ½ years old, he nevertheless needs to be told (politely) that he is making you uncomfortable. Not mentioning it now will not benefit him in the future.

10. Don’t be uncomfortable asking us questions (preferably not in front of him – see # 7). Every autistic child is different (see #1), and therefore you can’t assume you know what’s going on. In fact, we don’t always know what’s going on, and he’s our kid. Teachers and specialists trained to the highest level don’t always have the answers. Autism is, as of today, an unsolvable riddle. Remember - to assume makes an ass of you and me.